So, you've paid the babysitter in advance to make sure she turns up - it's your friend's 40th party and it's been long awaited after being cooped up with a now demanding toddler who thinks he's turning 13 ("i-phone is mine!!"). You put on your high heels and you're ready to have a good night!
But then on the dance floor after a couple of champagnes you feel tingly and warm between your thighs. No i'm not talking about feeling hot for the cute guy that you now realise is your husband ;) No i'm talking about that feeling of the urge to pee...
You try to squeeze your thighs together but it's too late! The combo of champagne (alcohol irritates the bladder you read somewhere) and the joy of dancing caught you off guard and now you have an embarrasing blush on your face that makes you look like Cyndi Lauper.
At this moment you decide you'd better find some help for this disaster so you don't have to wear gumboots out next party time.
So why did this person not want to invest in a pelvic floor/womens health physio, clinical pilates or post natal specific exercise before now?
Has this woman ever heard of jade egg practices or pelvic floor exercises?
Has she been trying to do 'kegels' but didn't know 'what muscle was what' so had given up? (Research shows that 30-40% of women bear down in stead of lift in pelvic floor exercises.)
Are you one of the approx 5 million mamas in Australia with pelvic health issues? Have you ever felt like giving up?
I had on occasion. I've certainly had lapses. We are not accustomed to talk about our private parts and so many womens pelvic floor issues are secret.
We may feel alone and ashamed and unsure of how to approach it. We may feel uninspired and lonely on the path, so we ignore it. It may be a bit of a bore to keep dealing with it or we think that it will just get better with time and so until that dreamed of day we can simply conceal our issue from our husbands, our friends and the rest of the world.
All the subconscious associations with incontinence make us women feel out of control, old and haggard, useless, dirty and broken. So of course we might avoid it, or even get resigned and give up on it. Heck we've got a billion other things that need our attention.
Until we get our beautiful shoes soggy, then it's kind of hard to ignore.
I have a unique inner approach for you. A shift in mindset that could change your game. Journey with me as you meditate on this:
Succulent Mother Meditation
What if the feeling of the yoni/vagina, open and succulent post birth, was not feeling broken?
What if that could help us want to seek support to empower ourselves, rather than fix ourselves?
What if we could honor the body of the mother as the miraculous birther that she is and honor the needs of recovery through education on patience and persistance with appropriate exercise?
With care and love the mother can come back to herself with her yoni/vagina as a healed and conscious part of being mother, shining in the succulence of this practiced birthing yoni/vagina - the Mother Yoni, rather than feeling like a broken, run over Maiden Yoni!
This is my invitation to you today - To atleast attempt to feel your vagina/pelvic floor/yoni/sexual organs right now as whole and complete. Then, can you open up to loving your lady parts? And now can you feel yourself empowered by them? Their awesomeness. Their magical birthing power. The scars, the stretching, the change - it all is because you are a woman. A succulent woman. A power source to be reckoned with!
How do you feel now? Is there a change in how you relate to your body and your self?
Yes, our Mother Yoni is changed and now calls for more attention, proper exercise and strengthening, but this attention can be a pleasure and a place to grow in empowerment recognising our feminine gifts rather than an experience of being broken and disempowered.
If we focus on how we feel 'thrown off the rails of our formerly smooth lives with our perfectly behaved bodies' and now how ridiculous it is to perform internal gymnastics well, it's no wonder we fall off the pelvic floor exercise bandwagon. This self talk can make us focus on what is not working and discourage us, rather than on appreciating the change as part of a bigger change that can bring great joy.
As mother we are changed and we may have some 'terrible' symptoms that need attention, but there is an invitation here calling us to grow into motherhood in our bodies powerfully and joyfully and do the feminine inner work to heal and recover our strength at the right time and develop healthy physical practices for life.
Can you face the uncomfortableness of opening up and telling a friend that you got pee on your heels at a party because your pelvic floor was not working properly post birth? That you feel foolish that you never asked your pilates teacher how to identify the pelvic floor? Your friend might well and truly thank you for opening up, heck, she might even cry, because you never know what she has been suffering in silence too. Those funny faces over coffee might have been her feeling distracted for reasons other than you thought.
Do you feel broken or deeply feminine as a mother?
If you want to move from feeling broken to feeling more empowered in your body as a mother get in touch. My MamaLove program may be just what you need to support you. You get a Post Natal Health Questionaire, I can refer you to a specialist if you need or we can work on appropriate exercise options, lifestyle choices, that can support your healing and recovery. This is a holistic process to identify what will work for you and create positive change in your habits. Getting you back feeling goodby nourishing yourself how you need so you can nourish you family.
For more info on pelvic health, urinary incontinence & prolapse go and see your local, professional Womens Health Physiotherapist.
Also, check out these great resources:
pelvicexercises.com, pelvicpainrelief.com, continencefoundation.org