When we are faced with a block we can get stuck reviewing it. Mulling over it again and again, we wish things were different. We can get stuck not knowing why we can’t move past it.
Awareness of the impact of what you are doing and what you want to be doing can help transform the whole situation from a reaction to a chosen way of directing your energies for change.
You can begin to author the situation your way.
We all face resistance to change at times. Sometimes I resist writing. Sometimes I resist a healthy sleep routine (after you have kids, nights are like an oasis). I get blocked and that can keep me in its grip for a while and then I use my tools and I get past it, I look at what its costing me and I craft a new design.
I know that this happens to you too because if you are reading this you are a conscious woman who is up for that on-going journey of change and self-betterment to give the best you have to life. Along the way, on a change journey we get to points that the motivation doesn’t sustain, the vision seems hazy and the path seems unclear.
These self-coaching questions below are what have helped me move (more than once) from feeling frozen to being in action, as well as move me from feeling overwhelmed with habitual behaviour that I couldn’t seem to change to breaking through to new behaviours.
This is work based in ‘Reframing’ from NLP and Motivational Interviewing - a facilitative approach to health habit change created by clinical psychologists Miller and Rollnick and adopted by Coaching Psychology, which puts clients in the driving seat of their change process to reduce resistance to change. Motivational Interviewing is used succesfully in health, addiction and behaviour change scenarios but it is not limited to these scenarios and it is great for any of us who want to break it down so we can see why we make certain moves and gives us space to rewrite those moves to ones we want to have in our lives.
Another angle that is ignited in this process is our temporal self - as we work, in the words of Mindsight creator and mindfulness expert and Psychologist Dr Seigel, on our ‘temporal integration’ - looking to all aspects of the past and the future we can harmonise ourselves in the present moment.
If you want support for a change journey, where we can dive in and explore what you want out of life and for your well-being as a woman feel free to drop me a line. Enjoy the process!
Self-Coaching Questions for Rewriting The Moves
What desired outcome would you like to cultivate right now?
What desired future behaviour would support that to happen?
What is the best experience you've had with the desired future behaviour? (Draw on past experiences that were similar or the same.)
What are your current behaviours?
What concerns do you have about your current behaviour?
Entertain for a moment that all intentions from your subconscious have a positive purpose (even though the way they do it may not have positive outcomes). What positive intention might this behaviour have?
Entertain for a moment that you can direct this intention to better outcomes. What ways could you behave to have better outcomes from that intention?
Now reflect again - What is/are your desired behaviours?
How might these desired behaviours lead to benefits in the future?
How might your current behaviours lead to problems in the future?
Draw forward from this exercise what changes would you like to make.
The behaviours I want to focus on creating are:
Now post up those behaviours to inspire you.
Map how often you want to behave that way.
Reward yourself, even if it is a pat on the back, or a shout out to yourself in your gratitude journal of what you were grateful you achieved.
Now you can go set the world on fire with your rewritten moves!
See more about Reframing in the book Frogs into Princesses by Bandler and Grinder
See more about Motivational Interviewing in the book Motivational Interviewing by Rollnick and Miller